Uncontrollable

   A few weeks ago Leah had another of her uncontrolled vomiting episodes. They come out of the blue with no warning signs. She is fine one moment and the next she is in a cycle of endless vomiting. The only way to fix this is to take her to the ER and get her fluids. Followed by anti-nausea hoping we can keep her hydrated as her hydration is rapidly depleting. Luckily this only happens about every 8 months or so. We have her on medication to prevent this. It use to be a lot more frequent.
   In the middle of the night it is a rush to the hospital. My daughter in the middle of this is completely fine. She is her usual energetic self. She can't slow down. She is hopping around and throwing up. Due to her other behavioral conditions it is nearly impossible to get her to lay down. This is continuing to deplete the energy that is being stolen from her body. We are entering very dangerous waters. She could go into low blood sugar. This has happened on numerous occasions.
    The doctors are confused upon seeing this bundle of energy. Why are we so concerned? She obviously is doing fine based on the amount of talking and bouncing. It doesn't take long to delve into her history to realize why we are there. We start getting things started. I know what comes at this point. I have to endure my daughter getting an IV. Which she is horrifically scared of. All while she is still vomiting. I usually have to use my whole body weight to hold her down. Along with another person holding her arm. While someone is putting in the IV. The first time they can't get the IV started. We have to start all over again. I really can't stand what she is being put through. However, she must endure to survive this episode. I must press on and so does Leah. We start the other IV and it is successful. She is getting fluids, anti-nausea medicine and starting to feel better. We are able to go home early in the morning around 4:30. We get home to hopefully sleep. An hour or so later it starts again. We have to wait to call her regular Dr at 8. The lack of sleep and anxiety caused me to forget to get a prescription at the ER. I asked the Dr for one. They referred me back to the ER. Wanting me to make sure she is still hydrated. I was not wanting her to get poked for another IV. However, no signs of dehydration was afoot so we were able to get anti-nausea and a prescription. She was finally stable. She usually follows with another episode about three weeks after. However, I made sure we were back on the preventative. She has not of yet had one.
    What do we do when our kiddos are in such a state of flux? This is such a cross to bare. We never know when they will be in the throws of death because of their medical condition. I wish as a mother I was less anxious. I wish that in the moment I could just have complete trust that God has her in His hands. It is so hard to be in a completely uncontrollable situation. You have to make split second decisions that you wish you had more time to weigh options. You don't. You have to do what it takes to save them. It gets easier when you know what worked before. However, the anxiety it doesn't go away. The fear in the moment still trumps everything. What should this teach us? Life is at the upmost precious. Life is fleeting. We can't take our time for granted. We also must not take the gift of our children for granted. Every opportunity in frustration is a moment to remember. We are not so privileged in this world. In our status as humans. We are privileged in the hands of God. Who holds us there. He holds us there through the Blood of Christ. That is the only privileged that has been granted in this world.