Love Actually

   I had to think about what to write about Mental Health. My child has a mental illness. She has other things she deals with. It is very hard to think about all the things that are in her head. She is very young. However, we already know the challenges she has ahead of her. We already know the feeling of brokenness that she feels when she can't control her own behavior. We haven't told her that she can't be forgiven or that she is unlovable but at age 7 she just already assumes it. It is this that a parent begins to break as well. No amount of comfort that is provided will turn her from this though process. She has yet to reach her teenage years and feels this way.
  It isn't everyday that you have a great challenge thrust upon you. It is in small moments that cause so many things to propel into a mountain that needs to be climbed. It needs to be conquered. Many times I have prayed about Leah. How can I help her? Love her. I hear in my head. I scream BUT I DO! Do I love her in the moments when she is tearing us to shreds with her words? no Do I love her when her fists are balled in hate ready to strike? no It is easy to love the lovable Leah the one who curls up in my lap and beeps my nose. God isn't asking me to love that Leah. He is asking to not withhold my love when she is unlovable in my eyes. In many ways, I am no more better situated then Leah, the way God sees it. Through His perfection I am an imperfect creature in need of saving. There is no difference. Leah needs the same Savior as me. How God will use her to better me, her or the world remains to be seen. Jesus loves us as unlovable as we are. We are the most imperfect people. When we are faced with such a insurmountable task, God is calling us to lean on Him.
   God teaches us many lessons. He truly loves me by providing Leah. I have a lot to learn about love. The only way to learn about love is to have a glimpse of Jesus' love for us. God sacrificed His son for a creation that was completely unlovable. I have a long way to go. Leah does as well. It is a journey that God has set upon us. If I am to be a disciple of Christ, the unlovable are the ones I need to reach for. The ones I need to say I love you even when you are so human.
    Am I shying away from those that need that love the most? perhaps. Am I denying those who need Christ? Even if they are too prideful to see Christ, should I not shine His example on them? yes These are all things I see in the raising of a Mentally ill child. It is easy to miss the biggest lessons that God has for us. However, in some He has born them in us. We are not burdened by it, oh no. This is a blessing. It is Love Actually.

The Thorn

I feel somethings are left in the care of God. Some things are just this world. I believe that God can teach through struggle. I have learned a great deal. I have a prospective on this subject therefore tend to talk about it. It is something that I believe has been placed on my heart. I am glad of my prospective. Otherwise I would be struggling everyday in the pain I am in.

~Blessings
Kandi

Lay at His feet

Quick note here, I see people apart from their disabilities. That isn't all they are. God can choose any one of us to spread His message. I believe that these special individuals have their own message that God has given them. Also I am staring at myself so I'm using "you" referring to myself as well. It is in my heart to get special needs in our Church. I feel it is vital to the body.

Blessings to you in His name
~Kandi