When it comes to ADHD there is a lot of stigma that goes with it. A fair amount of time these kiddos have more than one diagnosis. However, when you mention ADHD it gets dismissed. As if you are excusing bad behavior. Normally a child that behaves badly can be redirected with consequences. This does not work on a lot of ADHD children. They can't make the connection of two different sequences. I can only speak of my child. Who has ADHD among her other diagnosis.
We look at Leah moving very fast. Almost too fast for her to do a task properly. She has trouble slowing down to do things. It is hard for her to learn things. She can't slow down to process them. When she has it she takes off with it. It is the same when she is speaking. The things that come out of her mouth are amazing. It is all her thought process just verbalized. She does not slow down to think what she should say. She might look at the the iPad and say "Give me the iPad". It is instant. No thought to ask for it properly just out with a desired command. It isn't that she is trying to be rude. She just is unable to slow down to properly communicate. We will give her a nonverbal cue. She will correct herself. "Can I have the iPad please"
This is in the home environment of course. When you get to a store things get a little different. She can see lots of things that she desires. She may be in a whirlwind of desire by the time she sees something she MUST have. It isn't that she specifically wants that item. However, she has now put all the emotion for seeing all the toys onto that object. It is a hyper focused energized desire. It doesn't always happen. When it does she will trade all her toys for the one at the store. You try and redirect her and she is running back at the object. She is growling. She is upset. She is completely focused on that object. She doesn't care about the people around her. She doesn't care about what I am saying. She wants the thing. You either fight the battle at the expense of the people around you also her safety might be in question. I had an object that was less than six dollars, Sharon was with me. It was not worth the fight. If I were alone with Leah, I would probably not have purchased it. Does she remember this episode? The answer is no. The only thing she will remember is what store I bought it at.
Another thing that we can't do as parents is stickers for earning or delayed gratifications. It is a concept that Leah just does not understand. It is not in the now it is not worth her time. She gets quite stressed out about even mentioning the fact that she does not have the reward yet. You try and explain the process and she focuses on the reward that is not in her hands. Her poor empty hands. You can say "Next week we are going to a play" and she has processed it as "We are going to a play right this minute, get your shoes on." She has always been that way. I have gotten to the point where if we are going to go somewhere I just mention it right before. If we go to someones house I tell her right before. She is anxious about going. She even plays out what will happen when she gets there. If I tell her too early, she has exhausted herself.
Leah has a beautiful personality. She is very affectionate. She can light up a room in an instant. She can also be disruptive. She can get violent. She can get very emotional. This goes with the territory. She has mental illness along with ADHD which is a behavioral disorder. She does feel guilty for the things she does. It is my job as a parent to help her understand how to work through these things. Also teaching her that Grace has been given to me so shall it be given to her.
