We have recently encounter a storm of medical issues with my youngest daughter, Leah. She is not
unfamiliar with these storms. We have been dealing with them since she has been 3. Constantly dealing with low blood sugar, ketones and vomiting. She is a very picky eater due to her behavioral issues. As a parent you have to be extra creative on how you keep her healthy. In our effort of trying to find out the vomiting episodes which come fast and furious, we had another one.
We had some testing done which required her to fast. Her body does not do well with fasting. After the episode started, she began vomiting without break that evening. We eventually ended up in the ER. We always do. We were given IV fluids and sent home. She was able to rest for an hour. It started again. We ended up back in the ER. We gingerly fed her fluid with an extreme amount of anti-nausea medicine. I was sitting there with my two special needs children. One who might not be independent. One who is medically unstable. She said I have my hands full. I told her the truth. I would rather have my hands full than empty. This is the cold hard truth. I would rather have the challenges that I face everyday than not be needed by anybody. I would rather this be my reality, than to have such complacency to complain about a latte.
I want to stop you from feeling sorry for me. You should never feel sorry for someone who is so obviously happy in their life situation. I am blessed in so many ways. I have a wonderful husband, who is a great partner. I am blessed with two amazing daughters that give me more purpose than I could ever come up with myself. I am blessed to be able to wake up knowing that I need to climb and achieve. We get stuck in these ruts for one reason: no challenge. I do not have that problem. I am going to be frank with you: I don't want it. God allows the struggles in our lives for the betterment of ourselves. Are we willing to take that Grace? Are we willing to look at a struggle as an opportunity? I don't want the struggle. No body wants the struggle. However, it is yours. Are we willing to get everything out of it? There can be so much growth in it if you allow it to happen. If you wallow in self pity that will not happen. Start climbing towards what God wants for you in that struggle. First of all, He wants you closer to Him. He is constantly calling on you to come closer. Secondly, He is waiting for you to let go. He is waiting for you to let Him do the work. This is the hardest thing. You want to fight against the struggle that is presented to you. Let Him do the work. He is so much better at it.
It is a choice to be happy. It isn't a circumstance that you find yourself in. I am so much more healthier now even with all my chronic pain because I am emotionally healthy. You can get through the worst things if you have emotional health. If you have a purpose and hope in that purpose. Keeping physically healthy is always needed, however, surviving requires hope and faith. My grandmother was diagnosed with bone cancer when I was about 14ish. The Drs gave her less than 6mnths to live. Cancer treatment wasn't great then. It was a big problem. However, my grandmother had hope. She survived for a year and a half. It baffled the doctors that she survived so long with such an aggressive cancer.
We got past this recent storm. I am sitting here at this desk writing out of thankfulness, not bitterness. You see I understand that joy is precious and fleeting. I understand that it is not something that comes to us naturally. We are Graced with it. I am joyous in the calm. I want to stay in it. I know that it might not last. I will take it all in. I have a special prospective and I am happy about that. I understand life isn't automatically easy. It is hard, rough and full of struggle. I am not going to allow it to take my happiness. I am not going to allow it to hammer me or my children down. When Christ died on that cross. He lifted a burden. He gives you something if you are willing to take it. The world might have a hammer but Christ gave you the sledge.
