Love is an action

 The Maze Game

We play our game

In the maze we are safe

Fear leads the field 

Yet the walls are high

No way to lose the fight

Everything we have is inside

Sheltered as it seems

In the light we are frail as can be

Time does not stand still

We must show our might

And step outside

Our courage saves the tears from falling in vain. 

Kandi K Wolfmeyer, 2002

I write words. Words that are void of emptiness. Verbs are meant for action. We say them to state the purpose. An action we are going to take. What if we treated love as an action? A verb rather than just a noun. We throw it out with no purpose. However, it has a purpose. It requires action. 

   A word. It's just a word. However, some words matter. A word that can save and destroy. Destroy when it's used as just a word. Expectations are placed when we use this word. It requires action. 

    We place walls so high. We might say we love but act as if we don't. Are we there? Like a mother to a child? Ready to battle the struggles? Ready to stand firm, mercifully in that love. Do we just leave when things get rough? Do we think this is beyond my ability? We have lost sight of what love really means. 

    I have watched over several days. Love poured out for a person who recently died. Where was this love when they were alive? Would it save the outcome? If a person is actually loved it saves. When we use it emptily it destroys. We say I love you but are never there. It can be thrown out so much in that emptiness. A person would eventually believe love is nothing. They are nothing. When love is given correctly, they have no trust in it. 

  Have we given love and it was not returned? Do we remember that feeling? Have we said I love you and weren't there? Surely we are all guilty. It is just a word. 

    I'm a mother. My children are different. When you use words they better not be empty. They use words as an absolute. My youngest says she loves me. She will absolutely prove it in her action. My other daughter does not use many words. Her actions say her words. I ponder this. They know what love is. The proper use of the this word. Even though they have come across the misuse. When somebody is not there. Yet have said this word. They have no understanding of being empty in words. It is completely foreign. 

    Are we going to funerals regretful? We wished that we showed, proved our feelings. We play a game. Keep are walls high. All those times where empty love given. We add bricks. The bricks prevent us from acting. 

    I learned this early on. I want to love like it's the only action I need to do. I want to love like Jesus loved Peter. Knowing He will be disappointed. Knowing Peter can't return it the same way. Can we take those bricks down. What is on the other side? Are we willing to risk it? 

     My daughters don't know how to build this wall. They don't have those abilities. This leaves them vulnerable. However, we can help. We can help those vulnerable. When we use that word show it. In fact, we can just use our actions and they don't need the word. We should feel it pouring out. Love is an action. 

Neurodiversity: physical touch

  Every single person that lives on this planet needs physical touch. The ability to receive the touch is different. However, the need is there. The stipulation in some circles is that neurodivergent individuals do not like touch. It simply is not true. While some have sensory issues with touch and have to be careful on receiving it, need physical touch. Our family uses physical touch as a grounder and communicator. I will be discussing this today. 

  My daughters both have communication issues. It is important to use physical touch to reinforce the verbal response you give them. It can be as simple as a touch to the arm or a turn of the head. It grounds them to the conversation. They now have two or more sensory inputs when communicating. If we are dealing with an individual with ADHD this is very important. They need a grounding point. Depending on your relationship with them a light or heavy touch will help them stay with you. I usually will play with Leah's hair as I am speaking with her. I with stroke her arm. This might seem very odd to an outside viewer. I am simply helping navigating her through a conversation so she remembers. I also will rub Sharon's back as we are talking about something. Our family is very physical. It is all about the communication aspect. Sharon often will reach out. She is the most physical communicator. She will often use touch to communicate her needs. She often wants to be grounded through it. Sharon is often lacking in words. She will find a way to communicate through her body. 

  Physical touch is a way to ground oneself. What exactly does that mean. Everyone feels overwhelmed at times. The world does comes to fast and swallows you up. Neurodivergent individuals have this happen more often as they have a hyper awareness. Physical touch helps ground your sensory system. We have so many things to simulate this action. We have weighted blankets, hug blankets, and compression clothing. It is replacing what natural personal touch would do. We will often cuddle our teenage daughters. They need that physical touch. This prevents a lot of meltdown and sensory overloads. 

  We hold ourselves back with physical touch. However, physical touch is many things. It can be an effective tool in communication. It can help ease anxiety in those who are feeling overwhelmed. We can also use it as a way to communicate on how to touch. What would be the best way to touch? Some people like hugs but some don't. The key is to open the communication. Physical touch is one of those lines.