Mistakes and Meltdowns

   Leah wanted desperately to go to the Childrens' Museum a couple of weeks ago. It isn't the type of place that Sharon does well at. However, Leah loves and thrives there. It can be overwhelming with lots of things going on. It can over stimulate Sharon. While Leah is always seeking over stimulation. It is hard for us to find things for to do together. Leah is seeking a roller coaster and Sharon wants a merry go round kinda time. Usually I have to sacrifice for the others enjoyment. That day I decided to go to the Childrens' Museum. Hoping that Sharon would be okay.
   It was already late in the morning trying to get them in the car. Once we were in the car I couldn't just back out of going. Even though that was probably the best thing to do. I get there and explain we would play for a bit, then eat, play some more. Sharon started darting around like a stampeding buffalo calf. I had to keep us together. Leah was trying to look at one thing but I had to pull her from it to keep up. We get to the paint room. This is it. Sharon wants to paint for the rest of the afternoon without being interrupted. This works out for me. Leah and I can explore while Sharon is glued to the paint window. However, it is time to eat. I try and find a place outside the museum to eat but could not. I went back in and we sat down eating pizza. It was noisy and lots of things going on around us. Sharon finished well ahead of us. She was in no mood to just sit and wait. Leah wasn't eating at all. It was going to be a long time before we were able to play again. Sharon beginning to get very irritated wanted to go to the bathroom. She loves going to the bathroom to escape. She made her way out of there and tried to go explore. I explained that we need to wait for Leah. I knew then that a meltdown was coming. I needed to find a way to get us out, without her knowing. I tried to get her to the water display by the door so I can easily get her out. She knew what I was doing and dropped to the floor. We were in meltdown mode. I had to get my almost as big as me, very strong almost 10 year old out of here.
    At this point nothing else matters. All that matters is safety. People are around us listening to my very loud angry child that I am now behind dragging to the door. I have to fetch Leah who is half way to the door. She is not happy at all that we are leaving. We argue that we should in fact leave. I grab her while dragging Sharon. A woman is nice enough to help get our table cleaned up. Once outside I tried crossing the very busy street to get to our car. Sharon kept us from crossing. She eventually planted herself on the sidewalk. I knew at this point I was not going to get her safely across until she calmed down. I told her that I would wait for her. On a busy side walk in downtown Madison, WI, my child laid on the ground sucking her thumb for the next 20 minutes. I just sat down drinking my coffee and waited. Leah was still very upset that we could not play in the museum. I suggested that I could take her back when Sharon was at her clinic. Many people were shocked to see her laying there. I knew if I had a man to help escort us across the street I would be able to get her to budge. Sure enough an employee asked if everything was ok. I calmly said she is autistic(she already got that) I'm just waiting for her to calm down. She asked if she can help. I said if you have a male co-worker to help us across the street that would be great. Sharon is not a fan of men. The thought of a strange man touching her would get her up immediately. That is exactly what happened. Once across I relieved the gentleman of his duty. Sharon tried to avoid getting in the car. I said I would get him again. She went right to the car.
   Now I had to get two very angry children home. It was thirty minutes away. The other was ready to tear the car apart because she did not get to stay. I calmly explained that we need to leave. We need to go home. If we behaved better we could have stayed. That did not happen, that is why we are leaving. I make it home and send them to different floors of the house. I try very hard to calm myself down. It was a very hard day. One that could have been avoided. If I would of stayed home.
    We can't stay home all the time though. We can't always avoid a meltdown. What we can do is be prepared that it will happen. Be the best in that moment. Be the calmest you can be. Show the child that you are in control even if they are not. Forget your very public surrounding because it doesn't matter. They don't matter. What matters is the trust your child has in you to get them out of it. They trust that you will be in control in that moment when they have lost it. I'm very lucky in the fact that Sharon doesn't have very many huge meltdowns like this one in public it is mostly at home. It happens at times. We just have to move on. I am not afraid to take Sharon somewhere. I know that it could be something that sets her off. I am willing to deal with that. If it means she will be a step closer to dealing with it on her own.