Joy in a neurodiverse family

 I learned my child was autistic when she was 3 years and 3 months. She is now 17 years and 8 months old. A lot has happened in those years. 

  My second child is autistic as well. Then with genetic testing and pure observation, my husband. I am the only one that would be considered "normal". In my household I'm not. I'm the exception. I'm confusing at times to my family. They sometimes have a hard time with my "normal" emotions and my inability to remember the order of the day. I often change things up. The audacity of this is voiced in unison. 

 I'm not frustrated nor looking for answers to the order in my life. I didn't plan my life as going as such. However, I'm grateful for how it turned out. Through my family I have a driven purpose. I wake up in the morning knowing the mission. I don't question what I'm doing with my life. I'm not wondering what will I do. Progress and success is different in our household but it is there. We strive for it everyday like a missile. 

  I take offense to my children being called damaged or being called an epidemic. As if they're a well planned invasion on a utopia of a world. I would like to point out that if you look around; my children and others like them are the least of societies problem. Simply it's not true. My children are not damaged. They are just different. People may not like their differences. However, it is not up to them to consider them damaged because of it. 

  How are they going to contribute to society with all those differences? They already have in so many ways. I have done so many things that I wouldn't have done hadn't been for their differences. 

  When my children were young it was hard to keep up with them being extremely overweight. I decided I needed to lose weight so I can keep them safe. I've lost over 150lbs. They were my motivation and purpose. I've learned about psychology, behavior, genetics. I've learned law and how to translate non verbal and verbal communication. I've learned how to stay calm in horrible situations to a positive outcome. I've learned how to advocate and be bold in it.  I've learned diplomacy and different points of view. The list goes on. 

  The most important thing I've learned is the beauty of this world through them. They have a much different view point. they discover things that I can't. This leaves me in awe and wonder. I'm very thankful, blessed to be able to have this. 

  I don't mourn what I didn't have in the first place. I wonder what life would have offered if my children were not autistic. I would probably still be obese. I would lack the knowledge I have now. I would still probably desire for more every single day not knowing my purpose. I would be sad and miserable in my own chronic pain that is a constant. If I'm honest would I still be here because of that constant pain? NO. I'm sorry I don't want that life. That life is damaged. 

  My girls have taught me so much in their short life. I love them for who they are. Not because they are my children. I love them for the individual value and love they bring to my life. 

  So yes I take offense when somebody calls my family damaged. I can speak of the wonderful benefits of having a neurodiverse family for an entire book. 

   Some based on my words, will assume that I must not have children that are severely effected. By society's version of that is, yes they are. My oldest might not be able to live on her own. My youngest has an opportunity to flourish on her own but might not either. Both are unique in their neuro presentation. One struggles with cognitive delays and the other emotional regulation. They are very much different. Which is a blessing. They are so unique. 

  God gave me this opportunity. I could certainly hate this life. I know many who do. I know many who are desperate to change it. Who would love to have a different life. I simply don't feel that way. I feel blessed to be able to serve God with what He has given me. In this He has blessed me with peace. Peace and joy in the life had laid out for me. I know how and why my children are autistic. It wouldn't matter in the way God had delivered it so to me. Because it is what He had for me. How do I know that? Because I'm living it. That's the honest brutal truth. The question to be answered is how I react to it? That is my free will. I hope and pray I am favorable in His sight.