Harsh realities

 I am an unpaid caregiver. I don't have time to have a job. Could I use more income for my family? 

Absolutely. However,  We have to make sacrifices for our children. This is something I can do. I have 

the knowledge and know how to get them the things they need. I spend my time doing a ridiculous 

amount of paperwork, calling or emailing providers, read and listen to books. I had to learn and am still 

taking classes, attending conferences to navigate a system that is awful. I am being very generous with 

 the awful remark. 

  The mental health system is deeply flawed. We still have a stigma when it comes to mental health. In 

society we completely down play it. We don't worry about what impact our language or actions cause 

for ones mental health. We expect people to be mentally strong or we brush off problems based on 

someone's gender or demographic. We also blame not having a spiritual strength to get through a hard 

time.  This is barrier to access help. However, It is one barrier. 

  The next barrier is cost to get help. Therapies are expensive and a lot of the time not covered by 

insurance. Most people do not have the knowledge to work around this. There is funding for mental 

health services per state. Here in WI that is CCS (comprehensive community services).  CCS requires 

you to first know of them. Second you need to fill out complicated paperwork and provide medical 

history. This is a big barrier for those who lack knowledge in this area. It is overwhelming to a person 

with full mental compacity. Let alone those who are suffering from executive function, anxiety and or 

learning disabilities. 

  After you fill out paperwork that requires a legal degree to decipher. You wait for approval. You wait 

on a waiting list for nearly a year or longer. Now you have access to a limited amount of providers. 

Those providers have paperwork much the same. The providers have a wait list too just as long. Which

you can't get on until you are approved. After you get off the waiting list from provider, you will wait 

for an appointment that is scheduled up to 8 months out. In the meantime you might be in absolute

mental crisis. In which will not get treated until you do something drastic. This is the problem. 

   We will not address these problems because we are distracted by easier options other than treating

people who might be vulnerable. We say lets make it less accessible to get tools to do something 

drastic. However, a person with full mental compacity that is healthy won't bother if these barriers are

place. A person who is in mental crisis, desperate for change it won't matter. It is like telling a starving 

person that Ritz cracker over there is not for you. Is that person going for the Ritz cracker 

anyway? Absolutely. 

  When a person is in crisis it takes multiple people or a person willing to do everything it takes to keep 

the person in crisis safe. This is a full time job. I know how full on it is because I was in this position. 

It's unpaid, 24/7, -110/10 experience. Who is honestly going to do all of this? 

 The other barrier is that most people are unaware of the difficulties placed in front of those seeking 

help. It is completely understandable that often times caregivers think that there is nothing they can do. 

We have to systematically change the system. Even though it is better than say 10 years ago. We have a 

long way to go. Also as much as mental health has improved, living with a mental illness has become

10 fold harder. 

   We have social media. We have 24/7 negative news cycles that 100 percent incite emotional 

response. Cancel culture. Reels and videos everywhere meant to degrade and dehumanize. This is in 

our faces every single day. Mental health for a every single person is dwindling.  Teenagers are the

most vulnerable. They are also the hardest to get Mental health coverage for. A parent or caregiver

might voice there concerns. They get shot down with 'they are just teenager'. They are hormonal. They 

are just a boy. Relax. Then to try and buck the system which can take a legal degree. They have to 

follow the above. 

  Advocating for better mental health should be a major priority. Caregivers only can do so much. 

Although I am taking precious I don't have writing this. If this is something I can do, I will do it. 

I don't have time to advocate on a bigger scale. The smaller scale which is my own children is 

overwhelming. I am hoping and praying that this speaks with someone. That it will help people 

understand in a very small way.  We need help. We are in Crisis. We are exhausted.