The last couple of weeks have been rather difficult. We had a schedule change. We had Leah get out of school. Any child can have difficulties adjusting. However, when you add sensory issues with autism and ADHD to the mix you might be opening a can. That is just what I did. Not that we had a choice in the matter. Life changes and we have to deal with it. Sometimes we need help. Sharon is getting therapy for that purpose. What about Leah?
After going back in forth to the neuropsychologist and neurologist it was clear. We were either going to have to wait for her brain to mature to control her impulses or medicate. I obviously wanted to wait. Who wants to medicate their 4yr old? Ah, no one(in their right mind). I was given ideas about what we can do to help Leah. Some things worked. Some things are hard for her to grasp. Leah has extreme impulse issues. Which requires someone to have an eye on her most of the day. So at what point do you decide to medicate a now 5 yr old?
This answer is very simple. I have a responsibility to keep her safe. If I feel like I can no longer keep her safe it is time to medicate her. She runs out into a parking lot with no concern for her safety. This is not unusual because she has no concept of safety for herself. She is focused on her goal. Even when I had a shopping cart in between her and the parking lot. Even when I had my hand on her she managed to get 50yrds from me before I could catch her. What if? What if Sharon was there? Who has trouble in parking lots as well. Which one do I keep safe? I have made that choice several times. Usually I have gone after Leah. The Lord has protected my children from numerous situations that could have been bad.
I have had Leah on a leash since that particular situation. She had tried to run from me again. She headed up on her back. However, Sharon was with me. So running after one child and leaving one child to run in the other direction not an option. We made it out the store with nobody seriously hurt. Going to the store with both as been quite an interesting experience of late. I have been told I'm multi-talented. I try and get what I need hopefully nobody gets hurt.
I writing this for the purpose of letting people know it is not an easy decision. However, if it prevents the worst situation happening it is necessary. What if I'm too late? I can't go off my own reservations about medication and the right and wrong of it. I can't go off what I want to do. I have to do what is best for her. I have to ask that of myself. Am I really doing this for their benefit or for mine? Does it make their life better or mine. Certainly, it would make my life better in a sense. I am not thinking that. I thinking about what if a car hits her? What if she eats more brass fastners with 4 adults in the room who still couldn't keep it from her mouth. Luckily that didn't get swallowed. I trust in the Lord. I trust that this medicine was developed to help. I trust that He gives me the ability to make the right decision.
It doesn't make it easy. It is just my responsibility.
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