Losing Weight

     Ah, you think this is going to be about my 66lb weight loss. I will write about that a later date. More important things are a foot.You see Sharon gets funding from the state to get around 27 hours of therapy per week. This out of pocket would be roughly 60k a year. Sharon needs the therapy. She had qualified for it. We waited a year for it. When Sharon was in the mist of losing her therapy I thought I had a hundred pound weight on me. The therapy that had only been in her life for ten months made a huge impact. To end it would be detrimental. All the things that happened in my life. This could of quite possibly weighted on me the most.
    The three weeks that we were working to get her therapy up in running I could only think about it. I thought about how much it has done for her. I thought about the therapists who work with her everyday that may not be there. I thought about how much they care. I thought about her team leader who seemed to get Sharon immediately. Eventually we would have to move on to a non intensive therapy. But it was too soon. That is what we were all thinking. It was too soon. Thankfully her caring therapy team worked non stop to help get her funding back.What a blessing her therapy team was throughout this process. They were there and let me vent. Realizing yes quite possibly I was going crazy. But they understood. And did not mind the calls. Her team leader got multiple texts from me a day. She got calls from me crying. The Lord put me in the right hands. They were able to keep me calm when it was hard to even think. I will forever be thankful for the comfort alone.
   We anxiously turned everything in after her funding expired. Now Sharon was off her routine. Behavior was indicating that. Wetting the bed. Hitting and pushing the sibling more than usual. Trying to accomplish small task while one is set to destroy was difficult. We were in day one. Day two came along and I tried to keep us busy. It was hard for me as well. My mind was on emails, phone calls when am I going to find out. What do I do from here. I also in the middle of working on knee surgery. Also getting Leah set up for preschool for summer. All of those things I can't even think. I was praying for  my mind back. I did my usual things. Went to the gym. Went to work. Did stuff around the house. Kept girls from hurting each other. for the most part. Anxiety level was the highest I ever want it to go. Then day three came and I was done about 9ish. I had an MRI with the anxiety feeling. I had to get this over with either way.
      I called the social worker and she came back eligible after the tests, notes, and questions.  Sharon had her funding back. That hundred pound weight seemed to be lifted in an instant. I was so relieved.We worked very hard, her therapists and I so that it would not effect Sharon that much. That she would not suffer from the lack of therapy. And her routine being off for a prolonged amount of time. I think we were very successful. Although she is keenly aware when I am under stress. I did pray in front of my children. And made them aware that I need help. That I am going through I rough time right now. I full well admit it. I needed God's help. He is always there. And if it were not for the strength of the Lord during this time I would have gone mad.
  To conclude I want to make note that I have a very strong faith in the Lord. However, being a mother gets the best of us. Since I am a mother I tend to something quite odd:Worry. I worry about a lot of stuff. In all of this I know I sounded quite panicked. And I was. I am after all human. I don't worry about myself so much. I'm not even worried about the knee surgeries I have coming up. But I worry about Sharon and Leah. I guess that is something all mothers do. And when you have a special needs child anything that is going to set off their routine is bad. Going from 27 hours of therapy to limited therapy to none that is major huge. Can't even wrap your head around it bad. I mean I don't do things because it is out of routine. Like parties; parties aren't in the routine. And the store is even hard.
   Every thing has a purpose in the Lord. I was able to appreciate even more the therapy that Sharon is getting. Even though sometimes I complain about overbearing schedule. Her funding that is provided. And what a wonderful country we live it that provides such funding. And the fact that I need to be more aware of my daughter needs and providing for them. And being prepared to do so in the next year. So this trail even though was a heavy burden. Was probably very much needed to open myself up a little bit more. And be diligent in this work set before me.