Last month I was dealing with Leah’s GI issues. This month we are dealing with her mood disorder due to the quarantine. Leah has multiple diagnoses. She has autism, ADHD, mood disorder, cyclic vomiting syndrome and chronic constipation. One of the last things that we figured out about Leah was her autism. Her ADHD and mood disorder was so pronounced those came first. Her medical issues were also tricky. She had originally had issues with low blood sugar. We thought she got stomach flu quite often. It was cyclic vomiting syndrome as it turned out. Many of my special needs parents with children of multiple diagnoses know how difficult it is to manage.
When you have autism you have sensory, communication, sleep, routine rigidity and motor function issues. A good number of autistic children have ADHD which would add attention, impulsive and inability to either slow down or the opposite could occur. Leah’s mood disorder is an inability to control her emotions. A typical person would be able to show happiness by a smile. Leah is dancing, jumping and singing when she is happy. This follows with every emotion. Leah is a very complex individual. How to approach what is causing a specific issue and dealing with it is one of toughest tasks.
Our oldest has autism. Simple straight forward we know what is going to set her off. She will get upset over certain things. It’s great to have that comfortable knowledge. Sharon hates movie credits. We have no idea why. However, with her behavior she has communicated “no thank you”. She also likes to watch the same shows over and over. She knows when they end. Avoids the whole movie credit anxiety. She promptly 10 minutes before the ending requests to end the show. She is predictable. It’s fabulous. I didn’t realize how great this was until Leah came along. Leah is very unpredictable. We have no indications what will work for her any given day. It all depends on her mood. We have to work around the mood she is in. When Leah is angry it is very difficult. One of biggest struggles is her anger. She becomes impossibly impulsive, communication is cut off and is highly focused on staying angry.
One of the things I realized when Leah was diagnosed with ADHD is we were missing something. She was diagnosed at 4. She clearly had ADHD. She was a hummingbird, always going. The reason I started drinking beloved coffee. We couldn’t keep her focused, and extremely impulsive. She had a temper the size of a Scottish Highlander. She was a little bitty but it would more than one to hold her down if she was angry or scared. I went back to neurophysiologist for more evaluation. Based on tested and observation they diagnosed her with mood disorder. She was also having receptive language. She had a hard time understanding half the things being said to her. Her language skills are through the roof. However, what she receives back is half that. She is also a very concrete and literal thinker. She cannot in any circumstances say anything other than how it is. Which is rather awkward sometimes. She will say exactly what is in her head. We were working with that for a couple of years. I knew that she was having trouble processing. We were having some cognitive processing issues with her. We could not get somethings to stick with her. Which didn’t make sense if all she had were ADHD and the mood disorder. I went back to the neurophysiologist. I explained that we were missing something here. We spent a couple of days at the office. She finally at the age of 9 was diagnosed with autism. I wasn't happy about having yet another diagnosis. However, it makes sense with her cognitive delay, concrete and literal thinking. She also doesn't have the receptive ability to sense or read people's emotions. She assumes that you are feeling how she feels. Every single person with autism is different. Sharon is receptive to other peoples emotions. It is all depends on where the brain pathways are going.
Sometimes we have a breakdown in communication. This causes a behavioral issue. She will argue with me about how I have said something wrong. This actually happens a lot. The truth of the matter is we are both right. In my brain it would be correct. In her brain it can't be. I have to make it correct in her brain. This might lead to a meltdown. This is her autism. We also have her getting very emotional about not being able to do something. We are in a very hard situation. It is very difficult to get out. I have to deny requests a lot. She hates the word no. Most children do. However, her emotional response looks quite a bit different. She recently has been aggressive towards our cat. I naturally sent her to her room. She had an emotional response to that. She kicked a couple of holes in our wall. Two things here, aggressive towards the cat is probably the change in routine. A communication response. Kicking holes in my wall was emotional. So I gave her two very different consequences for her to learn from her actions.
I had to think about what I was going to do. I had to process what was going on with her. Also what was my priority on how to escalated state. I realized that her over emotional response needed to be dealt with first. I reached out to my mental health resources. I realized we need to get into a better routine. We have had three appointments this week. We are hopeful with the consequences and reinforcement for good behavior, we will get on track. Leah looks like a typical individual but is anything but typical.
I will often will get more comments about Sharon. The difficulty that I must face. I point out Leah and say she is my difficult one. They often give me the strangest look. Looks are very deceptive. May is coming up. It is mental health awareness month. There could be a person who seems to be perfectly fine. They might be slowly crumbling inside.
Leah might be a puzzle. She is a challenge. However, I learn so much from her. She is absolutely the most intriguing person that I have privilege to love. She takes things in stride with her medical issues. Leah really changed a lot of my views on things. We are given paths in life. Leah on my path caused a multitude of blessings for me. I don't really enjoy putting together puzzles. It's actually quite frustrating to me. I, however, could bask in the complexity of Leah for a lifetime.
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