What I don't do

    I often get told "How do you do it". I have had time to ponder this recently. The short answer is I don't. I originally get up in the morning ready to do it all by myself. I really do. I think to myself, nope got this. I have touched on several parts of what I'm going to tell you already. I go to bed in pain, I wake up in pain. That is my reality. I know for a fact that it will not change. I can do things to make myself more comfortable but that is my life. I am at peace with it. I know that in Christ that I will not have pain eternally. Some things you get use to. It really is a mentality issue. The question is do I ever get angry or frustrated with my situation? The answer is you betcha.
     I am a human. I have emotions that interfere with my daily life. I feel that anger and frustration are useless. Do I still feel them and demonstrate them? Absolutely. Here is the thing I have severe knee pain right now. It is bad. Bad enough to cause me to get a mouth guard. You see I grind my teeth when I am in a lot of pain. I bruised my jaw the other day grinding. It is better with a guard. Another thing is that I go to the gym. You're asking the question why are you going to the gym with bad knees right? Simple I have RA, the best thing I can do for my body is keep moving. Do something, sitting in a chair hurts. I get on that elliptical and I'm angry. I'm ticked off at this body that I have to deal with. Unfortunately anger only takes you so far. Pain is magnified when you are angry. It can be motivation at times but only if you are not in pain. After I realize I am not going to be able to keep this up, a thought pops in my head. I am not alone. I do not live by bread alone. I live by the blood of Christ who has saved me. As I am thinking of that, I truly am able to forget the pain and keep moving. Is the pain still there? Of course, but my mind has been diverted to better things. I go through this progression a lot.
    I am a stubborn person. I also consider myself pretty intelligent. It is not easy to say I can't do it alone. It really isn't. I am a prideful person. It is by God's Grace that I can say I need. It is important to be able to say those words. It can open so many things up to you if you can admit that without someone else you would be lost. I need His Grace to get me through. If you look at my life it is not an easy road. I have several medical problems and my children have special needs. Sometimes I look back at it as a blur. I ask myself how did that get accomplished. I dare not take credit for the things that seem to go right. I know that it was not I. I know the short answer to "How do you do it?" is "I don't but He is faithful to work in me"